Studied.

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I was watching the U.S. Presidential debate live last night, in bed with a glass of red wine, around 4am French time. As I listened to Hillary Clinton speak (looking chic as F in Ralph Lauren, IMO) I was so impressed with how knowledgable and studied she is. Dedicating your life to anything, especially in her case of public service for 30 years, is a huge statement to passion, purpose and incredible knowledge on the subject. I was contemplating how that related to my own purpose.

Change makers start by first learning, then with doing. The power is in knowledge. The expertise is in experience. That’s what I took away. If you have been following my Snapchat this week I have been sharing what I’ve learned about photography. Quick little daily tutorials on knowledge I’ve gained either in the class room or from experience in my breathe thus far as a photographer which is and will be my life’s work.

On Photography

My journey started when I was 13. My mom handed me her 1970s Pentax 35mm film camera. The kind that is so basic and manual all you can do set the shutter and aperture. A far cry from the endless options and controls we now have with digital.

My first lessons in photography started with basic balancing of the camera’s built in light meter and a LOT of trial and error. I learned quickly that I like to overexpose my images by a stop, especially when shooting faces. I learned how slow I can set the shutter before the image begins to reveal the shake from my hand, or breathing. I learned how to communicate movement, not just freeze it. This is knowledge I still use today when I want the image to feel alive. From there I read books, I took every class I could for the next 10 or so years. Post college, I still study. I watch youtube videos, I take classes in alternative photography, I buy random cameras and learn how to shoot with them. I play, experiment, challenge myself and discuss daily.

The Continued Study

I’ve studied photography. I loved photography. I still love the history of photography, btw THIS is the best podcast on the subject. We are now all photographers. We all take pictures, communicate through imagery and share with the world. For those of you who want to make it a profession… take a lead from what inspired me about Hillary. Be studied, do the work. Take your time on the journey. Here I am 20 years later and I am still doing just that. She makes me excited for who I will become as an artist (and business woman) in the later years of my life.

Please, this is not a political post but one about being inspired about another human’s knowledge and commitment to what they belive in, if you belive in it with them or not… #ImWithHer

Above self portrait, in Baukjen dress & wrap coat,

inspired from the painting “San Gerolamo” by Caravaggio

 

Scotch in the Snow

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Valentine’s Day always falls in the middle of New York Fashion Week which means for the past 4 years we have been working non-stop and unable to have a proper romantic date.. that is until this year. Kevin surprised me last weekend by clearing my work schedule and whisking me away to Glenmere Mansion, originally built in 1911 as a home for Robert Goelet, for an “early” Valentine’s Day celebration.

We have recently been learning about the world of Scotch. I love the simplicity of a single pour drink if it’s at our studio in New York, or on a weekend getaway, so I don’t have to think about mixers and recipes. I’ll never forget the first time I tried Scotch- it was on our honeymoon on Safari in South Africa. We arose before the sun and had a quick breakfast before hoping in the jeeps- on the breakfast bar, oatmeal with a topping of scotch. What?! I mean.. this blows the “before noon” rule right out of the water. Come to find out, it was a delicious tradition and on those very cold sleepy mornings, just the right thing to warm you up ever so.

Fast forward a few years and we have been slowly learning and enjoying the lessons in scotch. We recently did an amazing flight taste tasting with our friends from The Glenlivet at Highlands, a Scottish experience gastro pub in the West Village. When Kevin was planning this romantic getaway he took inspiration from that evening and bought us a bottle of  The Glenlivet 15 which he knows I’d like because of its sweeter notes of almonds and spice. I love it’s distilled in French oak which makes it creamy and rich which I prefer, as a woman, to the other smokier varieties. The best part about gifting and receiving a beautiful scotch if you’re a man or woman is that you get to share it together, what each person individually smells and tastes and untimely make memories wrapped in the beautiful glow of golden honey.

So here we are, at the historic Glenmere Mansion, a place to cradle us away from the noise of the city and to spend the hours snuggled by the fire with the winter air breaking outside as we sip on scotch to keep us warm. This amazing experience was made possible by our friends at The Glenlivet~

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“Last year I decided to educate myself about Scotch, something I knew very little about. When I went to the wine shop on our street I asked for some recommendations for where to start, and they suggested The Glenlivet 12 as a starter. Jamie and I both really enjoyed it, and knowing her palate I knew the 15 year would be a great next move.”

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Things I’ve learned about The Glenlivet:

The Glenlivet was the original Scotch, supporting an idea we believe in strongly, to be an original.

Why “The” Glenlivet?: The Glenlivet is known for its smooth and elegant whiskies. It was renowned and other distillers copied and took advantage of this fact including copying their name! George Smith’s (the founder) sons and heir went into a lengthy battle to secure the rights to be known as THE GLENLIVET to differentiate it from the copy cats.

All their spirits are created using a natural spring water from the same spring they founded the company with in 1824

This region of Scotch making is known for producing very smooth, easy and soft spirits.

On the rocks or straight up? It’s a personal preference but how they described it to me was that by drinking it room temperature you have a fuller, robust flavor. They likened it to a walk in the forest- the smell of the forest after a freshly fallen snow is more muted as opposed to its natural state, or after a warm rain (adding water).

The_Glenlivet_16  Continue reading “Scotch in the Snow”

Worth its Weight in Gold

a look at the special pieces of gold jewelry I wear and why

I like for the jewelry I wear to mean something, to have a story when people ask me about it. Yesterday was the start of New York Fashion Week which means lots of photographs, lots of beautiful clothing and lots of chatting with fashion friends I’ve missed over the summer. A woman on the street complimented me on my gold jewelry which meant so much because each piece has a memory sewn into its life with me. The most important being Kevin’s wedding band {above} which was my Grandfather’s and we all know how amazing he was. They could not afford to buy wedding rings when they were married today, September 5th, 1950, so for their one year anniversary my grandmother had saved for months to buy this simple gold band.

When I’m shooting or traveling to more rural parts of the world I also prefer to wear a more simplistic set of jewelry than the beautiful vintage ring that usually lives on my finger (and I still get caught starring in awe at it). Instead I wear another simpler ring that is very special to me. Yesterday we learned about John Hardy’s Greener Every Day initiative with their bamboo collection: when you wear bamboo, you plant bamboo. My bamboo ring is inscribed on the inside “This Planted 7 Bamboos” and reminds me not only to take care of the earth around us but also recalls a life changing journey to Bali with John Hardy and Cuyana.

a look at the special pieces of gold jewelry I wear and why

Around my neck is a long gold chain with two charms dangling off it: the moon & stars with the earth. The Moon & Stars was a gift from a woman photographer & creator of very exclusive heirloom pieces I greatly admire after I photographed her daughters at our studio. The earth was an anniversary gift from my husband to remind me of all the places we’ve been and all the dreams I have to look forward to.

Continue reading “Worth its Weight in Gold”

Napa Valley & Beyond

A honeymoon trip through Napa valley Even though our private little cottage at Carneros Inn was the perfect hideaway for newlyweds in love, we did find the “courage” to venture out into the hills of California’s Napa Valley. So what does one do in this stunning American wine region? … drink and eat. A LOT. It was so much fun hopping on bikes and bouncing from one winery to the next, sometimes making a picnic and sometimes trying world-famous restaurants such as Bouchon. My absolute favorite winery was James Cole, where we bought a case of Merlot we gave to family members as Christmas gifts…and saved some for ourselves (for special occasions, like this past Thanksgiving). We played tourists on the Napa Valley Wine Train and spent a day in Santa Rosa, the city one of Kevin’s favorite beer breweriesRussian River, calls home. The details are foggy with the passage of time (or maybe it was the wine) and now only the highlights of my memories remain and these very few snapshots on film of the time in our lives when we were newlywed ~

A honeymoon trip through Napa valley A honeymoon trip through Napa valley A honeymoon trip through Napa valley

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Carneros Inn

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I was always enchanted with the quaintness of John F. Kennedy & Jackie’s California retreat on the 2nd leg of their honeymoon after Acapulco. Though we chose to start out on a once-in-a-lifetime Safari, we wanted to really take time to also slow down and take in our new roles as husband & wife with as many sunsets as possible. I found our private retreat in Carneros Inn in California’s Napa Valley, a gorgeous rolling hill estate surrouned by fields of grapevines and tucked away rows of little tin-roofed cottages, a literally home away from home. I pulled these old color film snapshots out of the archives as Kevin and I recently celebrated our 2nd anniversary to remember that place, those sun-filled days of baths outside in our walled garden, nights by the outdoor fireplace drinking wine and mornings with time to read the newspaper. It was magical, it should be magical and I hope it was or will be for you…

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Part III: Berlin

In the 1950s, my grandfather Beck was stationed in Berlin. Growing up as a child, I was always so fascinated by the old black & white photos of him from this era in this place unlike anything I knew on the country roads of Texas. I’ve always wanted to go and walk in his footsteps, to think of him as a young man, his family so far away, the devastation of war in front of him. We walked from East to West, we studied the differences from old photographs. We wandered the streets of Scheunenviertel and Kurfürstendamm. We had pretzels and beer, schnitzel and sauerkraut and look back in time of a city that changed so much.

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The First Day of Marriage

I wish I could go back. Not to the wedding day, though it was perfect and lovely, but to the morning after… Day 1 of being married. I loved this day. The way the air still smelled of wedding cake, the way the flowers looked so soft and began releasing their petals, the complete calmness that filled the room. Everything was still fresh and new, every memory of the day before so sharp and crisp. We sat at breakfast and talked through every last detail. What were your favorite hors d’oeuvres? How beautiful was the light?  What did you think when you first saw me? Oh my, wasn’t our cake delicious? I want to eat it again right now… would that be bad luck?

I couldn’t sleep that morning. My groom who was now my husband slept peacefully. I watched the city wake up out of our suite in the Carlyle Hotel. I looked at all the details, the evidence a wedding had ascended upon us. I touched the flowers, I held the lace, I smiled at the half filled champagne flutes scattered about. I felt that innocent, youthful joy, I basked in the glow of newness and I dreamed of all the adventures ahead.

“But Zelda, what wouldn’t you give to go back to the beginning, to be those people again, the future so fresh and promising that it seems impossible not to get it right?”

Recently celebrating our one year anniversary, we were looking back at our wedding pictures and I was reminded of this day and  these photographs I made so that I could go back to this time for the rest of time and remember that sweetness of our first day as husband and wife ~

Continue reading “The First Day of Marriage”

The Hands of Time

Very recently I lost my hero, a woman instrumental in raising me and a beloved Grandma to all who knew her – family or otherwise. It was the most difficult goodbye I have ever experienced and just writing this post tears stream down my face. She taught me how to write my name, how to turn caterpillars into butterflies, how to sew a pillow, how to love family unconditionally and how to make potato soup on a cold day. She taught me that no amount of money can ever be more valuable than what you have inside you. Kindness, creativity, thoughtfulness, the choice to do the right thing, and how you treat others is what is important.

Photography is a tool that can be used in many different ways. For me, I had to take photographs as a way of expressing outwardly what was happening inside, a way to cope with grief, to see and understand through the viewfinder what was difficult in the present. The sound of the old, large Hasselblad shutter slamming down was therapeutic. A show of respect. This is important to me, you were important to me with each click. It is painful and beautiful to look at the images so raw and real, a universal experience we all as human beings share. Thank god for photography…it has saved me so many times.

She was beautiful and wild, she had her father’s green thumb, she was amazing at crafts and I’ll ALWAYS miss her potato soup and cornbread, the memories of standing in the kitchen together, and most of all she loved her family past and present.

To every spring, my Grandma, I will think of you when the garden starts to grow. To every red bird that sits on my windowsill I will think of it as you stopping by to say hello. 

Much love until we see each other again. 

To my family – though my work takes me far away, I carry you all inside my heart and think of you often, as I hope to be half the woman she was.